Around this time of year I usually become somewhat sad because it’s the month my dad (SFC Stephen M. Barbier) Passed away. Its been around 6 years now since his passing and I still think of him almost daily. I know he is in the care of God and Jesus now, But the sorrow I feel is not for the dead but for the living. Those of us who had to carry on after his passing with a hole in our hearts and minds. Though my dad was no saint, those who knew him knew he was one of those guys who would give his shirt off his back to help a friend or even a stranger in need. I do miss him quite a lot and regret we drifted apart for so many years and I am happy that in the end we were as close as ever. I celebrate his life nor his death, I live my life trying to be something he would be proud of, knowing he was always proud of me even though he didn’t always show or say it. Well Dad, I know I may never said it in words but I know you knew that I loved you, I looked up to you and was proud to have you as a parent.
Thanks to my dad I exist, thanks to him I have become who I am because he let me find my own way and rarely judged my choices and was there to advise when I asked. As I said, I usually am sad around this time of year, but now I celebrate his life and cherish the moments I had with my dad. I don’t seem to be as sad as I used to be and in that I realize now that I was blessed to had known him.
God Bless you all, Remember to tell your parents how much they mean to you and celebrate the lives of those who have went to heaven before us.
Why does it seem some people find pleasure in causing others pain, embarrassment or emotional distress? Could it be they are suffering in some way and it lessens their pain to share it? Or maybe they think by bullying other people they avoid being bullied themselves? So many reason why someone could desire to cause suffering on another. What is a victim of bullying supposed to do to deal with the bully? Fight back? well it works sometimes but it is usually something to avoid in the long run due to the possibility you may get hurt quite bad. Where does the real problem lie? within the bully, the victim, the society we live in or just the lack of compassion in our children? Well I think there is some truth to each of them, the bully needs discipline and probably some anger management while the victim usually needs some self-esteem boosting along with maybe some defense classes. Society needs to be less apathetic about the problem and more enthused in correcting it. And we all could learn to have more compassion. Obviously there is something going on with our children, they are becoming more violent and less obedient. The bad part is some children nowadays are even bullying their own parents, there is no way I would have even back talked my parents nor even think about bullying them. They would have tanned my hide so bad I wouldn’t have sat down for a year. I guess they have no fear of their parents or respect for others anymore. Now there are some really good kids still out there and that I am glad to see. Where all the anger and violence is coming from is an answer I will leave to the professionals. How to solve the problems with bullying is something that will take a multi faceted approach. Maybe some psychology or sociology major will figure out the answer. Till then All I can do is pray that no child will commit suicide before we fix this ever-growing problem within our modern society.
First step in finding an answer is knowing what the question really is.
The years within a family unit is when children develop all their life skills, they learn their fears and learn how to relate to authority as well as peers. In school they learn some of these skills but usually the main influence on their world view and their capabilities to relate with the world comes from their parents and siblings. This is why parenting is an important skill to learn and usually is learned on the job so to speak. Children have to learn that the world isn’t always fair and that to get something they have to either work hard to or trade something of equal value to get it. One of the most important rules of life they should learn during their childhood is that every they take has either a consequences or reward. Too much of the present youths out there today have little discipline nor do they have any idea about what consequences they may have to pay for breaking rules or laws. They usually learn too late and repeat the mistakes many times before figuring it all out. As the bible says spare the rod and spoil the child, not that I am condoning child abuse or whipping a child to death but there has to be consequences to bad behavior or the child might grow up with some major issues. There are many non violent ways to teach them right from wrong and that there is a price to pay when they misbehave. What works for one child may not work for another and its one of those you have to figure out the best way for yourself kind of things.
I also find it kind of interesting that now most schools teach our children that there is no losers just the big winner and the next winner and so on. If they don’t learn to face that sometimes you just lose they will be quite emotionally challenged when they move out and have to face the real world. Losing teaches you how to be humble and it also builds character. It also makes most people want to try harder to succeed at the next try. But if there is no winner or looser then what is there to inspire them to try harder and soar higher in their lives? Yes it is not so fun loosing, I had to deal with that quite a bit through life but I also have experienced winning and usually it was because I was moved to do better by a previous failure. I think political correctness is becoming to important and we all are getting too carried away with it. Sometimes you hurt someone else’s feelings or they hurt yours, that’s part of life. The pain is short-lived and if you are fairly secure in yourself then you don’t let it bother you or slow you down. We should teach self-confidence and good self imagery in our school system and promote compassion towards others.
Just a few thoughts I had, right or wrong it is the way I see it.
The family unit is one of the most important part of society. Without a functional family unit t individuals would have no preparation for the harsh realities of life we all face. Some families are more functional than others and there are some that are quite dysfunctional. One of the shortcomings I see in modern-day families is that once the children approach the preteen and/or teen years the family group activities diminish if not cease to exist. Without family group activities the communications between the family members become less frequent as well as the trust that the family should have. The once close connection between parents and children break down as well as the connection between siblings. I had first hand experience with some of the problems mentioned above. I watched what once was a close family drift apart as I grew older.
I know that some of it is just a part of growing up, but it seems families are not as close as they once were and that the basic communication skills are lacking in the family unit. The family that eats, plays, prays and works together stays together. The family unit is a child‘s first social group along with its only true support structure. The child learns right from wrong, how to communicate with others and how to relate with the world outside through this or her family. Eventually the family unit will become second to the child’s social peers, and if there was not a strong bond amongst the family unit the social peers will be the social group that will influence the child the most.
The children and teens of today are the leaders, thinkers and the creative force of tomorrow. They are our greatest asset and the family unit is our greatest tool in molding and shaping their future as well as our own. Just something for all you out there to think about .
Peace and Wisdom be your Guiding light in life.