Tag Archives: Self image

Your greatest teacher is your own self

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bnf0427 I am no wise man,saint or anyone beyond average, I only write out of my heart and because of my joy in writing itself. I don’t claim to be an expert nor that I am even remotely close to be right. I only claim what I write is what I feel and think to be true. Think for yourself, be yourself and don’t follow, lead. Be wise enough to know that your greatest teacher is your own self.

Be true to yourself and your feelings, be either a leader or a self guided force in life. Let no man or woman mislead or distract you from your chosen path.
Ray Barbier

This work is licensed under a Creative Commons Attribution By license.
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beyond the trap of following the social ideals

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newprofilepic  Low self-esteem seems to very common place in America now days, seems a good percentage of the population have little if no faith in themselves or their abilities. Some of this is created by the family environment during the early years of our social and personality development.  But it seems that he age of mass media has the greatest effect on our self image and in turn it affects our self-esteem. Being bombarded with unrealistic thin supermodel females and overly muscle-bound males would make any average man or woman feel inadequate or sub par. Too much focus has been on the physical and not enough on the actual mental and emotional side. What one looks like does not dictate who they are or what they can achieve in life. The truth is that what society considers beauty changes decade to decade. There was a time when a heavy-set woman with pale skin was considered  very sexy and tall thin men were the hot item on the market. Unfortunately we seem to always look to society to choose for us what is sexy or not. This creates a lot of self-image problems for the majority of us that are just average looking . Until either society gets real or we as individuals get beyond the trap of following the social ideals we are handed we will be dealing with a lot of low self-esteem.

The truth is each and every one of us have their own ideal of what we consider attractive and/or sexy.  Not all men like skinny model types or bombshells and not every woman wants a Weight lifter. In the end the physical beauty fades and only the personality and heart remains. So it seems we should be more concerned with what one is inside than what they look like on the outside. Though I believe we all are beautiful and that being sexy is more an attitude than a look. For god does not make ugly things, only mankind labels things as such. Is it possible that we judge others negatively in order to try to hide our own faults?

 

 

“If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence it is only because you have not taken care of the lawn you have.”

Raymond Barbier

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We dig a pit in which we feel there is no escape.

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003 I see the emptiness in the eyes of others, they endlessly try to fill it with material goods and through pharmaceuticals. Unfortunately these are only temporary distractions from the emptiness they feel. The lack of meaning in their life and the absence of self-worth makes the empty feeling in them harder to overcome. What exactly is that emptiness or what causes it could be something as simple as low self-esteem or depression. It also could be the lack of spiritual fulfillment as well as not being accepted by their peers. It seems quite apparent that humans as a species require some sort of community and to be accepted in some sort of social group. We tend to be a very social species and we thrive on being  a part of such a group as well as being loved.

Sometimes we tend to create a false image of ourselves within and can not see the real person we are. We deceive ourselves into believing such negative things that we dig a pit in which we feel there is no escape. The hardest part is coming to the realization that we are not as bad off as we believe. It’s so easy to fall in to the pit but it is very hard to climb our way out. It is one of things that it probably took you many years to create such a negative self-image and it will take some time to teach yourself to have a more positive image. There are many methods of building self-confidence as well as improving your self-image such as attending religious meetings, meditation, exercise and even writing poetry or a journal.

Every day is but one more step in your personal journey through life and each step leads you forward in your self discovery.  If you search within to find out who you really are you may just find that you are far better person than you once believed. For we seem to be a far stricter judge upon ourselves as well as or actions than we are on others. We have to look at ourselves like we look at friends and family. Judge ourselves with compassion like we do those we love and care about, knowing no one is perfect and to expect perfection from ourselves or others is just plain illogical to say the least. To remember your past mistakes is wise but to punish yourself over them is foolish. We paid the price for the mistakes shortly after we committed them and guilt shouldn’t last beyond a few day to a week. Forgiving ourselves and others seems to be one of the hardest things to do., but it is a necessary part of our life.

Well enough of my Psycho-babble Nonsense.
Peace and Love to All
Raymond Barbier

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Take out the trash

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028  Self image is both the creator and destroyer of ones happiness.in life. Without a good self image and some self confidence its very hard to keep a positive attitude or to maintain any level of happiness. Low self esteem is the major cause of self doubt, poor self image and some forms of depression, if one wishes to be happy one must elevate their self esteem and create a positive self image. The problem is most people have so much emotional and mental garbage stored in their memories it makes it a very hard task to achieve any type of good self image or self esteem.

First thing we must do in order to create a positive self image and to elevate our self esteem is to take out the trash. We have to face each and every negative thought about ourselves and either accept them or disprove them. Those that are factual and accepted then must be overcame or learned to be an accepted fault within ourselves. I have noticed that if I make a mistake it is far worse a crime than if someone else does. I am far more severe on myself than I would ever be on any other human being. This is not a balanced view of life and causes me to have a very poor self image and low self-esteem.

Besides being a strict judge of my own life I also hold on to the judgment of others such as my parents, sibling and peers. Even though I understand that most of the judgments passed on me were usually wrong if not just exaggerated  ones, it takes time to root out those old scars and demons hidden in my psyche. I have learned that to put the hurts and pains caused by others in the past I had to forgive them as well as myself for the transgressions and misjudgments.committed on both sides. No matter who or where the scars and demons I have came from, I am the one responsible for holding on to them all these years.

We are the masters of our own destinies and fates, external forces may effect our course but we ultimately choose our own destination.In the end. It is our own choices that form our self image and effect our self esteem. Freewill does not come without a cost and nor does it come without rewards.

Enough of my babbling for today.
Peace and Love be your Guides in life
Raymond Barbier

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