Which way Will you Choose?

012  The Bible teaches that love is one of the greatest things, It heals, nurtures, guides and bonds us as humans. Jesus taught us to love one another and he asked us to do it in the same way he loves us. Unconditionally, fully and without any hesitation is how we should love one another. Love is limitless but unfortunately mankind’s capacity to find excuses why not to love each other is also limitless. It so much easier to remain closed up and hidden from the world around us than it is to open up and love everyone and thing in the world. When you open up to love you leave yourself open to be hurt and that fear is what stops love from manifesting in both in our individual lives and in this world we live in. The benefits of loving and being love is worth the risks involved, when your closed you miss out on so much of life and the happiness it can bring.

Being heartbroken is an emotional rollercoaster and can be quite devastating if you allow it to be. Eventually the pain fades and happiness returns and you open back up to the love that is all around you. Life will not always be a rose garden but it is far better when you are open to love. Love comes abundantly to those who give love freely and fear fades once it is faced. The choice to love, be loved and to be happy is your choice to make or not. You can give in to fear, cynicism and anger or you can embrace love and all its wondrous benefits.

Which way Will you Choose?

“As long as your still breathing there is always a chance to change the path your on.”

Raymond Barbier


beyond the trap of following the social ideals

newprofilepic  Low self-esteem seems to very common place in America now days, seems a good percentage of the population have little if no faith in themselves or their abilities. Some of this is created by the family environment during the early years of our social and personality development.  But it seems that he age of mass media has the greatest effect on our self image and in turn it affects our self-esteem. Being bombarded with unrealistic thin supermodel females and overly muscle-bound males would make any average man or woman feel inadequate or sub par. Too much focus has been on the physical and not enough on the actual mental and emotional side. What one looks like does not dictate who they are or what they can achieve in life. The truth is that what society considers beauty changes decade to decade. There was a time when a heavy-set woman with pale skin was considered  very sexy and tall thin men were the hot item on the market. Unfortunately we seem to always look to society to choose for us what is sexy or not. This creates a lot of self-image problems for the majority of us that are just average looking . Until either society gets real or we as individuals get beyond the trap of following the social ideals we are handed we will be dealing with a lot of low self-esteem.

The truth is each and every one of us have their own ideal of what we consider attractive and/or sexy.  Not all men like skinny model types or bombshells and not every woman wants a Weight lifter. In the end the physical beauty fades and only the personality and heart remains. So it seems we should be more concerned with what one is inside than what they look like on the outside. Though I believe we all are beautiful and that being sexy is more an attitude than a look. For god does not make ugly things, only mankind labels things as such. Is it possible that we judge others negatively in order to try to hide our own faults?



“If the grass looks greener on the other side of the fence it is only because you have not taken care of the lawn you have.”

Raymond Barbier

we tend to forget about those we care about along the way

oldfamIn the hustle and bustle of our modern world we tend to forget about those we care about along the way. Have you called your mom, dad, siblings or old friends? Have you told your mate how much they mean to you and how much you love them today? Have you had any quality time with your children today? When is the last time you sat down at the kitchen table and had a family meal and converse with your family about what happened today? It is so easy to allow work, stress, TV time and the everyday routine get in the way of sharing your life and time with those you love.


Just some thoughts for today.

Raymond Barbier

Change, acceptance and fear

003 Since the time we are born we sought out the approval of our family and peers, the path of life we choose to follow is heavily influenced by the opinions and attitudes of our family unit and our peers at school or work. Even though we are solitary beings in thought we tend to become attached to the ideals and values of those we are closest to. Of course we have our own personal spin on those values and ideas but the core of them were taken from the close circle of influence we have.  Good thing about human beings is they can change their core beliefs mid stream and change their direction if not their whole life path. Usually the older we get the less we look to others for approval and or acceptance and learn to be more independent in our views. Still the base core of the beliefs we had in our youth influences our lives. The dependence on the acceptance of a social group and or their approval can limit us from reaching our full potential . We wind up spending too much energy trying to make everyone around us happy as well as trying to gain their acceptance. A lot of us waste too much time trying to figure out why we are not accepted, liked or successful. We tend to believe  since we are not liked or accepted that we are either broken or something must be wrong with us. There is nothing wrong or broken within us, and usually we are more accepted and liked than we tend to perceive. Our fear and negative thoughts are blinding us to the truth that everyone is imperfect and that each one of us are both accepted and rejected by the world around us. Even the most popular people in society have those who dislike them and don’t accept them into their social groups.

I believe that we all must learn not to put so much time and energy into being accepted or liked and focus more on being the best person we can be. No matter what cards fate has dealt you in life you have the potential to be happy as well as the ability to change the things in your life that you don’t like.  Change of course is not an easy thing because the first thing you have to do is change your own mindset, you have to let go of the thoughts that make you believe your stuck or unable to progress beyond your current position in life. That is one of the hardest demons to wrestle with and usually it will not surrender easily. Once that is out of your way you just have to take the first step towards your new life. You will face obstacles and even have some set backs but you will make it to the destination if you keep determined. Self growth and self-improvement is a personal experience and there is no one out there other than yourself that can change the person you are or decide where your going in life. Others can only aid you or try to slow you down but that is all they are able to do. Don’t worry about acceptance and or social status, don’t make life too complicated and be true to yourself. Be who you are and shed the shackles of self-doubt and live for the moment as your true self.





The first step towards happiness is Self Acceptance.

Raymond Barbier